T is from Israel. We met on the terrace briefly and then again, later, in the meditation room.
She sat in the professional yoga pose.
That day we meditated on the Bible story of the sick woman. She had a bleeding problem for twelve years. (Luke 8:43-48)
The story says that the woman found her way through the crowd in a desperate hope to touch the cloak of Jesus. She had faith it would heal her. We landed on how Jesus turned around looking for the one person in the crowd who touched Him. How He felt healing go out from Him and that because of her faith she was made well and told to go in peace.
In our meditation practice we sometimes place a key in the middle of our circle.
The key is a representation of many things. It is our “talking stick”. Our invitation. An encouragement. An allowance. A sign of safety and a reminder of respect. It invites others to share about their experience during meditation.
T leaned in and grabbed the key.
She commented how she observed faith goes before the miracle. How, to her, this is the right sequence, but how our flesh desires to first see the miracle and then believe. She went on to mention how possibly the biggest act of faith must then be to ´surrender to what is not yet known´ and that her quest is to know how to do this, how to surrender.
One in the group then got the opportunity to share about a relationship of love and surrender to love, for example with parents.
“I don´t have a loving relationship with my parents”, she quickly interjected.
We went deeper. Discussing what healthy surrender looks like in the context of relationship, that we do not always fully understand relationships and how we can make a relationship 100% tangible. We came to the conclusion that relationships require communication, words spoken – out loud – and they require surrender!
This was a ´key´ to her. A meeting space.
When we finished T and a few others lingered behind and I got the opportunity to speak in private with her.
She said that she was thankful for this evening and experience. She then shared that she thinks she has actually never had a healthy relationship in her life.
To her there was no love between her parents and her, or in any other relationship! And maybe this is why she finds it difficult to relate to God. It was hard for her to believe He would want a relationship with her. One of us simply took the Bible, starting flicking through the pages and then began reading from Psalm 139, inserting her name where applicable.
At this moment T could not hold back her tears. One of us prayed over her. Words did not matter at this stage I believe. We all sensed His presence embracing her as His beloved daughter!
Delighted with a gospel of John, in her own language, she left.
He had seen her in the Camino crowd, and met with her!